What blocks payment or signup?
Price, proof, unclear audience, hidden workflow, weak CTA, or a claim the page has not earned yet.
Roast my landing page
Before you rewrite everything, get the one edit that matters.
Founder threads and AI audits create useful noise. This is the paid human pass that names the buyer hesitation, ranks the next fix, and gives you copy you can paste without another brainstorm.
Pay through Stripe, enter one public URL in checkout, and get the Markdown triage within 24h after URL confirmation. If the report does not include at least one concrete first-screen edit you can ship, request a refund.
- Built for
- Indie SaaS, AI tools, paid demos, and early product pages
- Not for
- Private apps, legal review, medical advice, or promised lift
- Output
- Ranked fixes, buyer objections, and one paste-ready rewrite
Human triage
24h
-
01
First-screen read
Can a cold visitor tell who it is for, why now, and what to do?
-
02
Objection stack
What makes the offer feel risky, vague, expensive, or too early?
-
03
Priority call
Which fix should ship first, and which advice can wait?
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04
Rewrite
A sharper headline, subhead, or CTA line you can paste and test.
Use this after public feedback gets noisy.
If ten people give ten opinions, you still need a decision. The roast turns scattered comments into one edit order.
What should change first?
The report ranks fixes so you do not spend the next day polishing the least important section.
What should the copy say?
You get one paste-ready rewrite, not only a diagnosis.
Why a human pass after AI?
AI is useful for generating options. This is a judgment pass that chooses which option is worth shipping.
Often correct, rarely prioritized.
It can say "add proof" and "clarify CTA" without deciding which one is actually costing you trust.
Useful, but scattered.
Comments optimize for reaction. A paid pass optimizes for the next edit a founder can ship.
One ranked call.
The report explains the tradeoff, names the buyer objection, and gives a concrete rewrite.
Small on purpose.
One public URL. No analytics access. No login. No promise that a copy change guarantees revenue.
Get the roast
Start with the $29 triage if you need the first decision. Use the deeper pack when you also want more rewrite coverage.
$29 First-Screen Triage
For one public URL when you need the next edit ranked.
- Markdown report within 24h after URL confirmation
- Five ranked fixes
- Buyer objections and one paste-ready rewrite
$79 Conversion Rewrite Pack
For one public URL when you want a deeper copy pass.
- Markdown report within 48h after URL confirmation
- Everything in triage
- Hero, CTA, proof, and pricing rewrite coverage
Payments are handled by Stripe. Enter one public URL in checkout, plus the question you most want answered. If the report does not include at least one concrete first-screen edit you can ship, request a refund.